How to escape the rat race, forever.
Crouched over my desk with my face in my hands, and it was only Tuesday. It was mid month and I was far behind on my sales quota for the month. Generally that’s a stressful enough situation, as is. But I was a few weeks away from needing to find a new place to live or move back in with my parents far away from where I was working. Hey, at least it wasn’t the street, right? At the time I was convinced my next move was to purchase a house, so on top of this I was regularly viewing and working to put offers on houses. Which intensifies the stress of being behind on your sales.
Low disposable income, stressed out over acquiring and managing a mortgage, constantly grinding on a job that paid variably. ‘Fuck this’ I thought. I was a few years out of university working a less than ideal job than I had imagined for myself after completing a bachelor’s degree. I was in minimal debt but wasn’t doing much in the way of saving and I was looking to lock myself into a mortgage in a small city where I grew up, because I thought that was the right thing to do as an adult. I’m sure there are many others my age who can relate.
One Year Anniversary in South Korea
Today marks my one year anniversary in South Korea. As I write this I’m on a bus back to my home home city, Gwangju from another city a few hours away I visited for the night with some friends.
It’s awesome you can bus across the country in less than 6 hours. Most places worth venturing are 3 to 4 hours away max. I’ve got a love/hate relationship with the buses here. Sometimes they seem to drag on, other time they give me moments to pause and appreciate the country and get into my head to think.
It’s a rainy day, as is usual in the summer here. But the mountains are covered in luscious green that is especially blooming today from the recent rain. There’s also a thick fog between the mountains where in most cases you can’t see the summits.
Life flows how it wants..
The worst part about vacations – aside from the tedious relaxation, and the horrid, utter lack of commitment or responsibility leaning on you – is coming back to real life and going back to work. I experienced this again first hand this past week. I had a bunch of days off last week and went to Busan. South Korea’s second largest city on the coast. Sexy beach city. Think Miami. Maybe at least.. I’ve never been to Miami.
It was a real eye opener and reminded to focus on building my own future and working for myself. Both the time off in the beach town and some occurrences in the week following.
It wasn’t too many years ago I thought the answer to happiness was eternal beach bumming. Without responsibility, without care.. Without purpose.
I used to think constant work, whether for yourself or – especially – for someone else was modern slavery. I bought into the meme ‘your life is more than work and bills’.
I’m not so sure anymore.
A while back now I dabbled around with polyamory, it ultimately lead to me discovering I was operating from a scarcity mindset in a few of the domains of my life. I’ve since realized polyamory regarding a serious or long term relationship isn’t for me – nor would it be for any other self respecting man with options, in my opinion. But I’m happy to have explored it because the experience and insights were more than worth it.
I’ve been reading a lot of Rollo Tomassi’s work lately. One quote in a particular article really stuck out to me: