Scarcity and Abundance Mindsets..
I’ve been thinking and reading about Polyamory lately. Polyamory is free and boundless love, people in these relationships are free to explore, start, and maintain multiple relationships if they desire. More on this in the future.
Among a multitude of thoughts and feelings I have on the topic, it has lead me to reevaluate a few other area’s of life that I thought I had down-pack.
It lead to me reconsider how I operate in regards to money, a career, my views of certain current affairs within the world, and of course; relationships.
May I introduce Abundance & Scarcity mindsets
In case you aren’t familiar with these mindset paradigms, let’s do a quick overview. Then let’s look at how you can switch from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset.
The Scarcity Mindset..
Scarcity mindset is comes from a place of just that, scarcity. One with a scarcity mindset believes that everything in life is limited. If someone else makes more money than them, they will make less. If you don’t do something now, you’ll never get to. Etc, etc.
Signs of a scarcity mindset include jealousy, greediness, envy, ignorance, short term thinking and overall unhappiness.
These people can get neurotic in a relationship, they have a hard time sharing, feel discontent for the success of others, don’t look big picture, and have a hard time building wealth. They feel like they won’t ever get everything they want. This leads to the unhappiness.
The Abundance Mindset..
Abundance mindset on the other hand, comes from a place of limitless opportunity. The abundant mindset believes there is more than enough for everyone, and they trust that if they can live a life true to themselves, add in some hard work, everything will fall into place.
Signs of an abundance mindset include confidence, genuine happiness for the success of others, cooperation, long term thinking, and optimism.
These people want to help in anyway they can, even if it doesn’t always directly benefit themselves because they know they will get theirs too at some point. Situations where everyone wins doesn’t scare them. They can see the big picture, are open to new ideas and see value in taking risks that can provide a reward. Even if they have to wait for it. These people probably seem lucky and like they ‘have it all’ to those with scarcity mindsets.
While trying to uncover the source of certain qualms I have had with the idea of poly, I found myself considering maybe I too, am operating from a scarcity mindset on this topic. Allow me to illustrate:
I want you to consider for a moment that you are in a relationship, and that one day your partner suggests continuing your relationship but while also beginning to see other people as well. They are honest when they say nothing is wrong with what you two have, but they just don’t want to put limits on love.
I’ll note, unless you are in a relationship, or have strong feelings towards another, you can’t truly understand how you would react. The idea of multiple partners may seem amazing or horrifying in theory. But you’ll only truly know until you are in the situation with real feelings.
One might imagine you could be feeling all kinds of emotions to the thought of sharing your partner with others. Confusion, fear, anger, etc.
I have to also imagine one of the primary sources of fear would be the fear that someone ‘better than you’ or that could provide more to your partner might come along and steal them away from you. Or jealousy from the idea of your partner being with someone other than you.
I know that’s how I initially felt when I imagined myself in the situation.
The more I thought about it though, I began to consider where those main sources of discontent were stemming from. They sound pretty darn familiar to the attributes of a scarcity mindset, don’t they?
As soon as I discovered my ill-feelings of poly could be from approaching relationships with a scarcity mindset, I wondered if I was operating from such in any other areas of my life.
Thus began the introspection..
In the younger part of adulthood I took some entrepreneurial chances, nothing major but a few. Learnt some lessons and made a little cash. Lately though, I’ve been much more adamant on saving my money rather than spending it to make more. Am I operating from a scarcity mindset when it comes to money?
When it comes to relationships, I am either having periods of success with women and not really finding settling down necessary. Though when I find myself in a ‘dry spell’ there’s nothing more I want than a significant other.
This bipolarity, combined with the idea of having someone and a fear of them being pulled away by someone else, makes me think I could be approaching love and romantics from a scarcity mindset.
In a lot of ways though I can feel I am living from an abundance mindset. There’s less fear now of missing out on a weekend event. I know it won’t reduce me as a person to not be wearing the newest, freshest jacket or shirt.
Most importantly, I do believe as long as I keep living along my path and following – at least what I imagine is – my mission, everything will work out.
I am able to generally see the bigger picture and how choices today will affect my future. And I am conscious to be genuinely happy for others in their accomplishments.
How to get into abundance mindset?
Knowledge is power. Truer words never spoken. The more you learn, the more of the world you see, and the more subjects you familiarize yourself with, the better life you will have.
You will be able to approach complex problems from a better perspective and thus reduce the chances of reacting to a situation, opposed to responding.
People with scarcity mindsets react. Abundance mindsets respond.
Get to know yourself. Take some time to look into why you do the things you do, why you feel the things you feel. When you truly understand yourself you can be aware of moments of scarcity thinking and correct accordingly.
You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.
Write your goals down..
There’s something special about putting your personal desires into written word. It activates something in your mind. When you write your goals down, your mission becomes clearer.
If you have a clear idea of what you must do, and where you must go, you will hold yourself in a more positive manner. This positive manner, and trust in yourself will reduce the envy and jealousy of others. Because someone else will always be more successful than you at any given moment.
When you know what you’re after, you don’t have time to get jealous. You know one day you’ll have your time.
Don’t compare yourself to others..
Comparing yourself to others, can get you lost in what they have and what you don’t or vice versa. Eventually you will begin to feel resentment or superiority. Envy or greed. Neither of these traits come from an area of abundance.
Give frequently. As much as you can. When you begin to give you will see how much more you get back in return.
I read a quote the other day..
“To get everything you want in life, give everything you have away”
Strive for improvement..
When you are continuously looking to improve, you will be too busy to put down others. You will begin to see people having success as like-minded individuals, also working on themselves.
Growth is a key to happiness. And true happiness is a direct source of abundance.
Generally the bright side of things, is also the abundant perspective.
Lost some money on a business venture? Lessons learnt!
Friend have a major success? Potential future partnership!
Partner seeing another person? Increased happiness they can share with you!
If you want a beautiful, and fulfilling life, adoption of an abundance mindset is crucial. Money, partners and most other things all come and go. What’s meant to stay will stay, everything else is just in transition.
Don’t let fear or some other scarcity mindset trait hold you back from getting what’s right for you.